When He Whispers

My prayers for a healthy pregnancy are not going unanswered as much as God is responding in unexpected ways. I might be unaware of those ways right now, but God has a panoramic perspective of my life. He is not hiding that from me as much as I am often unwilling to listen. And through my stubbornness I have used the excuse of saying God is being silent, I can't hear Him...


However, sometimes when God seems silent he is surprisingly talkative - only whispering. He whispers so we are drawn closer to Him. Sometimes that means we don't always hear Him clearly, but God continues to speak drawing us into a deeper relationship with Him. It is only there in that intimate place that He will share with us HIS perspective and He allows us insight into His plan.


I hope that I can get to that place... That completely intimate place where God shares His plan for my life with me. If only I can learn to listen when He whispers...

Yogurt...

So Jonesie suggested I share with the world how much I didn't like the texture of Yoplait Thick & Creamy Yogurt....

YUCK! I almost puked at the texture...

A Beautiful Prayer...

I read this on Britney's babyfit journal. I thought it was beautiful and I just feel like I should make it my prayer too.

Father, we thank you that children are a heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward. children are your idea, Father. You thought up children and family and home. You instituted the family in the garden of Eden. You ordered children. You commanded them when you said to Adam and Eve, be fruitful and multiply. You said that the barren womb is never satisfied. Lord, the Word declares that I am wonderfully and fearfully made by you, therefore I'm perfect and able to conceive and have children. You said that I would be a fruitful vine by the side of our house and our children like olive plants around the table. We are not ashamed but happy because our quiver is full of children (or arrows as you call them).

Thank you, Father, that you designed and fashioned me to have children, that in the bible barrenness was the exception, not the rule, not your will, not normal, something against your plans and purpose. In your name, goodness, and faithfulness, every barren woman in the bible who was godly and believed your word became pregnant. You opened her womb and blessed her, and she gave birth to a precious baby just as I will. You make the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children.

Amen

4 Days Past Ovulation

I ovulated on Saturday. I am officially in the two week wait. I can test next weekend (July 26th). I am hoping it is positive, but if it is not I am OK with trying again.

It is the constant waiting that kills me. I wait to ovulate, wait to get my period or get a pos test, if I get a neg test, wait to start my period... It sucks to wait!!!

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.

I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

- Author Unknown